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Writer's picture#EndoWarriorH

My First Period

I just want women to hear me loud and clear…you are not dirty, you’re not unclean. Your body is doing things that it can’t control and you need to see someone who knows what they’re doing. Dr Lauren Streicher

Photo of a discontent girl holding up a pantyliner in her one hand, looking at a calendar in her other hand, with marked PMS days.
Image by wayhomestudio on Freepik

Growing up, I was a bit of a tomboy, and the idea of becoming a woman seemed totally alien to me. I felt like I was too young and definitely not ready to deal with all the messy, bloody stuff that came with it. While some girls might have celebrated their first period, for me, it felt like I was dealt a horrible hand of cards by mistake. It didn't feel right or normal—it felt like my body had gone rogue without my permission.


When it happened, I was totally unprepared. I'd only heard about periods in passing, thanks to some gossip in my class about a girl who had her first period the previous year. There was talk that she was so young and some girls judging her, as though she chose to get her period the time that it made its first appearance. So, for that reason and the mere fact that I was always typically a private person, I wasn't about to broadcast my own period and become the subject of the next round of rumours. Little did I know that my body had other plans.


It was a typical afternoon at home when it happened. I returned from sports practice feeling fine, but suddenly I felt something wasn't quite right down there. I rushed to the bathroom and, lo and behold, my underwear had an uninvited, bloody guest. It was a shock to say the least. I remember thinking, "This shouldn't be happening!" I even tried to pray it away, promising to be the best-behaved kid ever if only my period would disappear. But nothing worked. I was stuck with it. I cried and screamed internally, so as to not alarm my little brother and have him asking me a million and one questions, questions that I wouldn't even be able to answer.


I quietly grabbed some sanitary towels from my mom's closet and tried to carry on as normal. But my period had other ideas—it wasn't going to let me forget about it. I remember the horror of waking up the next morning to find my pyjamas stained with specks of blood. I couldn't bear to put them in the laundry basket for everyone to see, so I hid them away in my closet and hoped no one would find them until I could chuck them directly into the washing machine with the next load of dirty laundry. But of course, my mom found them, and she was more heartbroken than mad. She had wanted to have "the talk" with me and was sad that I didn't feel comfortable enough to reach out to her and tell her what had happened. Even after her discovery, I was too embarrassed to discuss it and could barely look my mother in the eye or give her full sentences. I felt a sense of shame. One would have thought that I was dealing with a stranger who had never had a period and was just judging me. And yet, that was not the case. After our very brief conversation, my mother brought me a booklet with information on periods, and she said to let her know if I had any questions. My shame led to me hiding that booklet in the very bottom of my drawer and never set eyes on it until a year later.


Looking back, I realise that I handled it all wrong. I should have talked to my mom and asked questions instead of keeping it all to myself. And most importantly, there was no reason for me to feel ashamed of my body or feel ashamed that I had to deal with a monthly period, like it was something dirty. I know there are other girls out there who feel just as lost and embarrassed as I did. So, here's some advice based on my experience:


  1. Don't Keep Quiet: It's natural to feel embarrassed or unsure when you first experience your period, but keeping it to yourself can make things feel even more overwhelming. Talking to someone you trust, whether it's a parent, older sibling, friend, or teacher, can provide much-needed support and reassurance. Sharing your experience with someone who cares about you can make the whole process feel less daunting and more manageable.

  2. Get Informed: Understanding what's happening to your body during your period is key to feeling more confident and in control. Take the time to educate yourself about periods—what they are, why they happen, and what to expect. There are plenty of reliable resources available, from books and websites to educational videos and pamphlets. Knowing what to expect can help ease any fears or anxieties you may have.

  3. Stay Fresh: Good hygiene is important during your period to help prevent odours and infections. Make sure to change your pads or tampons regularly, ideally every 4-6 hours, to keep things clean and fresh. It's also a good idea to wash your vagina with plain water regularly, especially during your period, to maintain cleanliness and prevent any discomfort or irritation. If you must use soap, it's a good idea to opt for a mild soap like the GynaGuard pH Cleansing Intimate Bar, which is pH balanced for daily comfort and to help maintain a healthy pH balance.

  4. It's Normal: Remember, getting your period is a completely normal and natural part of growing up. It's a sign that your body is healthy and functioning as it should. While it may feel strange or unfamiliar at first, millions of girls around the world experience their periods every month. Try not to let any feelings of embarrassment or shame get in the way of accepting this natural bodily process.

  5. Ask Away: Don't be afraid to ask questions about your period or anything else related to your body. Whether you're curious about how tampons work, why periods sometimes feel painful, or how to manage period cramps, there's no such thing as a silly question when it comes to your health and well-being. Asking questions is a sign of curiosity and empowerment, and it shows that you're taking an active role in understanding and caring for your body.


As for me, dealing with endometriosis as well as adenomyosis, has been a whole other journey, and it's meant that getting my period is a much bigger nightmare than the 11-year-old me feared. It means that having a period can lead to excessive bleeding, high oestrogen levels which speed up endometriosis growth, plus immense pain and fast growth of ovarian cysts (large and very painful ovarian cysts). So, one silver lining is that I no longer have to deal with the monthly nightmare of my period, thanks to medication. It's a small comfort, but it's made a world of difference. Here's to all the other girls out there facing their first period—I wish you nothing but the best as you navigate this new phase of life.


Signed

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